Well I promised myself I would never create a blog......so much for that. I suppose I decided to create one because I need to express my feelings, not hold them inside.
I have the tendency of lying to people about how I truly feel, my thoughts, and dreams. Basically I don't want people to know about me, I'm afraid they may try to hurt me somehow, why they would I don't know, but it was happened to me many times. Those who I have trusted in my past and present have betrayed, hurt, and lied to me.
It is extremely difficult to explain how I came to be and no one has ever learned the truth, bits and pieces yes, but not the whole. I feel lost and I want to discover my place, but no matter how hard I try I never succeed. I try to stay strong and keep a positive attitude wherever I am, but it is tiring.
I have many moments where I feel alone and there is no one there for me. I push those who try to help me away and I am not sure why. I suppose it's because I don't want to add any more drama or pain upon their shoulders, it would be selfish if I did. The year after I moved and started going to my new school, I have met wonderful people, I have friends who I believe would help me and stay by my side through thick and thin, but I just feel so incredibly alone and time and time again I become the lone wolf.
-Lancehead
posted by Lancehead @ 4:25 PM
4 Comments:
At 4:56 PM,
Unknown said…
so i found your blog. yay for the lady li.
trust me, i know i'm not one to be lecturing people about opening up and being honest, because most people still don't know the real me. like you said, parts, but not all. it's safer, you know? safety in obscurity. ask anyone. i know more about them than they do about me. sometimes i think i know more about them than i do about me.
but that's not the point of this. if you want to be open with someone, i'd suggest starting with zack and nick, maybe cavya. i'd offer myself of course, but i don't know if you feel like you'd be overloading me. you wouldn't be, but the important thing is getting yourself out there. not who you do that with.
maybe i'll work on that myself...
luv always
lady li
At 5:55 PM,
Lancehead said…
Thankyou for your wise words li, I'm working on it. :)
At 6:53 AM,
Anonymous said…
You know, I think I'm the one person in our whole drama program who's honest with himself and everyone else.
I am who I am. If you know me, you know me.
Hmm.
I must think about this at greater length.
At 3:15 PM,
Unknown said…
anytime carl. we all need a little reminding.
...wise words, huh? cool. *shakes head*. lol. ;D *hugs you!*
luv always
lady li
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